So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it hurts more in the daytime
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
