She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
