Yo dont text me then not text me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
