plz talk dirty to me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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