Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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