im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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