Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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