before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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