"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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