so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
