We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
