If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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