Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
