I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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