I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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