yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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