he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
