That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
