She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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