He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
