Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
