she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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