the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
