Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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