she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
