This is not my ceiling
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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