Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
