Don't EVER smell your tampon
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
