did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
