oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
