I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
