At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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