Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
