I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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