I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
