Old men and throwing up are my life now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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