They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
