i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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