It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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