So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
