his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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