The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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