I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
