I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
