My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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