I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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