You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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