By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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