So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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