His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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