you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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