People with herpes should wear stickers.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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