benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize