Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize