Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize