He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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