dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
